almost soaking in a (sickly) bittersweet feeling
June 25, 2006the whole idea is to achieve complete emotional detachment and to become objective. it’s my own simple rule. at least, that’s what i’m trying to abide by…
there are times when things start getting sour for me whenever i am put in a situation where emotions and mindgames complicate things.
okay, there are times when complicating things is fun… i am a master of complicating things. i can over-analyse and torture myself with my own mindgames and these are just fine ONLY IF I WANT THEM.
but there are times (and damn those times!!!) when that feeling is there and i can’t shake it off and my mind’s already betraying me with countless what-ifs and conjured ghosts of regrets i know i should not entertain at all.
during these times, i curse my mind for having its own existence. kita mo: i know what i should do about it but i dilly-dally and then choose not to do it all. so, i succumb and feel remorseful about myself. weird. it’s just all in my head anyway. the battle is somewhere in there and it has always been just me versus me.
so, back to the original idea: EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT and OBJECTIVITY. sige. a lightbulb will shine in a minute. tic.toc.tic.toc.
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